So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
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I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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