yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
