Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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