Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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