i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
