Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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