We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
