I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
