I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
