Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
