SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
