I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He shit in the fireplace
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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