How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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