what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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