Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
