so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
