dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
