his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I need moral support for this bender
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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