69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Blow job season was short but glorious.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
