you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
