Define "chronic" masturbator.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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