So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
