so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
