You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
