I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize