So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
