I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
