I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
