1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
