Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
there is puke in my bra ... again
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
