I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
