dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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