I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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