I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
