At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
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So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
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I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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