didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She is in my trunk
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
