In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize