please come you make the beer taste better
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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