Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
