there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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