remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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