Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
