The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
