Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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