Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
