My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
