my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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