I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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