I'm so fucking centered right now
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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