We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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