I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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