i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i came on her dog
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.