is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
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we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
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A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"