Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.