That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.