May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.