the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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