Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize