Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
