i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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